My ideas of parenting and the kind of mom I would be are probably as far from where I began as they could be. As I mentioned before, I started out wanting to do everything perfect for my kids. Now I just aim to get done what keeps me out of jail, i.e., feeding, housing, not hurting them, etc.
Well...I really like my kids, so with those basic needs, I throw in some love, interest, and I try to have fun with them once in awhile.
What I don't do is sweat the small stuff. Like swearing, perfect grades, made beds, exact bedtimes or clean clothes, hair, nails, etc. I probably did sweat those things (obviously not the grades) when my first two were born, as I had unrealistic expectations of kids and parenting. But as the kids came, and all of the other stuff got crazy, I learned to let that shit go. If I didn't...well...I didn't because I couldn't. And now, I know that none of that stuff really 100% matters anyhow. No one is trying to be perfect in this house anymore. Thank goodness.
We are aiming for the middle. And if we are not in the middle, we are aiming to accept where we are at. And hopefully that will be a happy place.
For instance, what makes my son happy is his t-shirt that he has been wearing since July 1st of this year. I have slipped it into the wash only once since then. ONE time in almost three weeks. Now, at one time, I would have thought that disgusting. But the shirt looks clean, smells clean (I swear) and heck, less laundry for me. I admire his determination. This will be the summer he wore the same shirt. And it is a cool shirt too.
Yep, I'm done sweating the small stuff. Life is much easier that way. And everyone survives, even in dirty shirts.