Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What Must the Neighbors Think

First I want to say that yesterday's post was a little T.M.I., according to my sister AND my friend Beth. But that was the point. I gave T.M.I. to my boy. And yes, I know girls pee out of their urethras.

Now, on to the important stuff.

I honestly love my neighbors.  The ones who love our family, no matter what.  You know who you are.  It is the other one's I am going to discuss today.  It is possible that they could read this one day.  But I suppose, I don't really care.

The neighbors that aren't our biggest fans, have had some reasons to arrive at their judgements against us.  Like I have said before, we have had some big old fights over here. I have thrown clothes on the lawn, chased kids, squealed my tires, screamed some awful things out of the windows.  My kids have ding-dong ditched, swore, ran through their yard, peed in our yard in front of them, you name it. We have given people a chance to think some not-so-nice things about our family, if they wanted one.

I have spent many minutes thinking about these folks.  I have said rude things under my breath as I walk by.  I've written them letters that I didn't send.  I have raged in my head, plotted revenge, and HATED them for what I am reading in their minds.  (We all know that I cannot read minds so yeah, I've wasted some time.) I have no real idea what they think about me.  And if I have learned anything from my good friend Lu, I know that anything beyond my own nose, is none of my business.  Having said that, I am SURE they hate us.

My kids have been told by some newer neighbors in the neighborhood, that they had been advised to stay away from our family.  So when my kids asked to play, that family said no.  That pissed me off and sent me into some behaviors that I have mentioned in the previous paragraph.

I can honestly say that I have raged out in my head at these folks as early as last week.  I swear to goodness that man over there glares at me, and so do his kids.  But here is what I have decided.  He isn't.  They aren't.  And if they are, who cares?

Here are the options.  Either the dude doesn't think about me nearly as much as I think about him and his family, or he hates my fucking guts.  Or both. Which one of those matter in my daily life?  Neither.  Because even if this guy thinks I am the cats meow, we could never be friends.  His people and my people are from completely different planets. We let our kids roam the streets, they don't let their kids play outside.  We vote very differently, our faith is different, and we run in different circles.  Not that that means we can't be friends, I just don't think we could.  The biggest reason being that, they are really sort of mean to our kids. To me, that is weird.

Of all the resentments I have had to face and let go of, I swear to goodness that this one against this neighbor is the worst one for me, because I feel like he re-offends.  But he only re-offends because I let him. And I let him, because in my mind, it matters that everyone likes me.  So yeah, ball is still in my court.

My point to all of this babble is that we have made quite a name for ourselves on this street.  We have the few people here who love us anyway.  And those are the people I will always appreciate.  They see us for who we really are.  That's what neighbors are for.





10 comments:

  1. I thought your post yesterday was cute, kids ask some crazy questions!

    I moved into my first house two years ago, I met my new neighbor for the first time on the day I got possession... the first thing that doofus said to me? "Nice to meet you. Uh yeah, you're gonna clean up the weeds between our houses on your property right?" I couldn't help myself when I said back to him "It's on the top of my priority list, right before I unpack my bedding and coffee maker." Seriously buddy? Maybe let me move in first and see what kind of a neighbor I am before you jump on me about the damn weeds. It still bugs me to this day! Needless to day, some neighbors are just jerks. Good to hear you're trying to let it go, that's a tough one, good luck!
    - Keyla

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    1. That would have really bugged me too. We have some weeds this year, as we do most years. It just isn't a priority, even though they bug me. But I KNOW it must bug my neighbors because they have perfect yards. They haven't said anything. But maybe some day, we will get it taken care of. Not this year though.

      Thanks for commenting!!

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    2. I figure if I'm keeping the lawn mowed and it's still green, I don't really care if it's weeds or grass! :)
      - Keyla

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  2. There are always going to be people who don't like you for whatever reason, no matter who you are or where you live.

    There's a kid in our neighborhood that my kid isn't allowed to play with- this kid wrote the "n" word on the playground in the dirt with a stick, at my son's school and my son came home asking me what that word meant. When I found out who did it, I told my son he wasn't allowed to hang around that kid ever again.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you should just confront this neighbor and flat out ask him what his problem is with you and/or your kids. Maybe there is a legitimate concern (and maybe he's just a jackass).

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  3. Our family will always be grateful that the DeGree family moved in. Your kids are bright and funny and play like kids do. There isn't a mom in this neighborhood who hasn't screamed out her window or door. I don't think you need to give any power to weirdo neighbor..(we've had a few run ins with them ourselves). Love ya Betsey and your wonderful family!

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    1. Love you too Carolyn!! You are the good ones that I was talking about. There are a few houses with really good people living in this street. Thank goodness for that!

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  4. I apploud you for doing this. It takes guts and courage to do what you have done here and you need to be proud of yourself.

    You do what ever it takes to save your family.

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  5. LMFAO!! We have SO much in common. I have neighbors like this too! I always wonder, how can you NEVER let your kids go outside? Wait, she did let them out once or twice, and I swear nearly smothered them walking right on top of them. Once, the mom was out of town, and I guess the kids were driving the dad nuts, so that week, and ONLY that week, those kids stayed at my house a lot, and had the time of their lives! I haven't seen them outside since, so I imagine the dad got in a bit of trouble. I do have to mention the good neighbors, which technically are related to me, and when I say technically, I mean my parents, brother, aunt and uncle, cousins, etc., but still. They never complain about our loud kids, or the fact that they tend to cut down "trees" in other yards, or that our yard our yard is the only trashy one in the neighborhood.

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  6. It sounds like we DO have a lot in common. My father-in-law lives on our street too! But people are so judgemental. I judge them for that.

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