If you are here for the first time, welcome. If you are here for the first time because of the article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, I have a few things to say quick.
First, I didn't expect the story to lead with my child's painful moment. I am not belittling that night and his feelings. It was a cry for help, and help came. He was asking us to change, and we did. I wish the story didn't start with that and I hope you take away more than that from my story. I am confident he wasn't intending on following through with the act. He was screaming for me to do something. I did.
Second, I am NOT the reason Bob is sober. I may have said that, but I didn't mean it that way. He makes that choice for himself every day. He doesn't have to be sober. Sure, I set up some rules for myself that he needs follow to fit into my life in sobriety and as my husband. I know my limits. But he does them on his own. I can't take credit for his sobriety. It is totally his.
I have been open with my story because I want to help other people understand what it is like. Not just the people I see in meetings. But the ones that aren't in meetings who need it, and everyone else. We aren't bad people. There are millions just like me, no matter what the drug is. There are 2.3 million people in recovery in this country (thanks for the number Nell.). We all have a story that gets pretty dark. My story is no more serious or remarkable than anyone else who has walked the addiction (which includes alcohol) path. And my recovery story is no more remarkable than anyone else's. No matter how far down we go, we can get out.
I am always terrified when I do something like this. I am terrified it will effect my kids. But this is about recovery. And recovery never hurt anyone. So that is why I share. There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as I am on this side of the road.