Monday, February 11, 2013

Jesus

Nothing bugs me more than people trying to convert me to Jesus.

Well...it's not THAT dramatic.

I don't want to offend anyone. I'm GLAD you have Jesus, if you do. I'm GLAD you believe and have faith and it is everything to you. I'm GLAD that you have found what you needed through Jesus Christ. I mean this in the most serious way, without an ounce of sarcasm. If it fills up your life and makes you a better human, than I am grateful you have it.

In our 12-step program, there is a LOT of mention of god being the way to relieve the desire to drink and use drugs. And the men who started this amazing journey for those of us who follow, believed in god. They thought being able believe in god was an important part of this program.  Something to be of service to, something greater than ourselves and something to trust in.  But they were smart enough to word it as "god of your understanding." They did this, so that people like me, had somewhere to go.  Because this program can work for anyone.  (Not saying it does work for everyone.)  There is a good story in the book on how this came about.  And I am sure it saved so many people because they didn't discriminate against those who didn't have the exact belief system that they did.  I know it saved me. I was told that my god could be a tree if I wanted it to.  It just couldn't be me.

Now, I have a higher power. I have something that works for me. It wasn't easy for me to find, and it wasn't easy for me to trust. I believe it did make those steps harder for me. I wasn't ready to turn my will and my life over to something I couldn't feel, see or trust.  How could things work out for me if I didn't believe?

I tried to force some kind of belief system onto myself, and it didn't work.  It wasn't until I stopped over-thinking it, and let the whole "higher power" thing happen, that I was able to find something greater than myself.  It isn't a being, a god, a dude in the sky.  There aren't any sons of him (if my god had a sex, it would most likely be a her) to follow or learn about.  It is just simply doing the next right thing, and the right thing will come.  It is the feeling I get in those rooms of my meetings.  It is the good of the group, the good of the earth, the good of the universe.  I have a hard time explaining what it is, but it is bigger than me, and that is all I need.

Like I've said before, I believe Jesus was here and walked this earth.  I just honestly don't believe he was the son of god.  It seems to me that he was a super liberal, groovy cat that helped a lot of people.  A very charismatic man.

The other day I was out to lunch with some members of my 12-step group.  I mentioned that I don't believe in "god." Assuming that it meant I didn't have a higher power, one woman told me to, "keep coming back."

People have (like this is news) strong opinions about their god.  Obviously, wars, countries, laws, deaths have occurred in name of god.  I always remember that when people are trying to push their beliefs onto me. And I am confident enough in my own belief to be able to stand on my own two feet about it and not feel inferior.  I also understand that people who care about me, and have a strong Christian faith, do not want me to burn in hellfire.  I can't hate anyone for that!   But comments like that, or people telling me "it will happen for you, Jesus is patient," or something of the like are really annoying to me.  My higher power and my beliefs are just as important to me, as the god of their understanding is to them.  I don't say to them, "I think you are crazy for believing that."  So to dismiss my beliefs as inferior, or to imply that I'm not doing something right or haven't "gotten" it yet, I find slightly offensive.

But, that is my shit, not yours.

Don't get me wrong, most of my friends are Christians who never say boo to me about believing.  Or at least, they gave up a long time ago.  And I love them all.  I don't hate Jesus.  We just agree to disagree.  And that, is cool.

12 comments:

  1. Agree to Disagree for sure. Love you anyway too! It drives me crazy when overzealous Christians try to push beliefs. I feel it makes us seem bad.

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  2. Betsey, your my kinda gal. Hugs.Sharon

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  3. This is great! I'm still giggling about Jesus being a liberal cool cat.

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  4. I see the Jesus thing as another addiction. Our former neighbour was an addict. She is now a crazy Jesus person. Before we used to feed and look after her daughter when she was so high for days that she did not know what she was doing, now we are not good enough for her daughter to visit our daughter because we are atheists.

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    1. That sucks when people lose their acceptance of others because of their belief in god. It is bad for everyone.

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  5. Good stuff, sister. Thanks for saying so - I know it can be seen as heretical to the beliefs of AA to express the right to "choose your own conception of God", or seen as a temporary measure until a person "comes to believe" - but folks like you who are living the miracle of recovery prove that a HP is whatever is bigger than you and keeps you sober. Nothing more is required. Thanks for being rad! :)

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    1. Why thank you. And you explained it perfectly.

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