Saturday, March 30, 2013

Spring break 2013

Forgive the way these pictures and text came out.  Not a very good looking blog, but I am not very high tech when it comes to these things.

This week my kids had spring break.  As I mentioned before, they have been fighting like crazy.  We obviously couldn't take a vacation to somewhere warm and wonderful.  And if you know anything about Minnesota, this winter has been LONG.  These kids have regressed back to toddlers again. I have to keep them really busy, or they drive me nuts.  So I planned out a week where we did something every day.  Something to wear them out.

This isn't a, "look what a kick-ass, fun, better than you mom I am" kind of post.  I did these things with my kids for my own benefit.  Because I couldn't stay home with them all day, and survive.  I am not that creative, or that crazy.

Besides, let's lighten things up for a minute, shall we?

So here are some pictures for you.

Monday we started at Snuffy's malt shop, where I stuck to the unhealthy eating habits.  Worth it.

Then we went to the zoo.

I hate the zoo.  It is animal jail.  Look at these giraffes.  They live in a cement closet.  And it smells in there.  The woman tried to blame it on their hair.  But I think its because they are huge giraffes, living, peeing and pooping in a cement closet.  I am pretty much against the zoo, but will go against every single one of my beliefs, when I am desperate.  

These giraffes are better because they aren't alive and suffering.  My daughter kept telling me I was ruining the zoo for other people saying stuff like, "oh, they are so cute, look how miserable."  Or, "I think the polar bear is going crazy because he is so depressed."  Apparently, people don't always enjoy the Debbie Downer with them at the zoo.  Whatever.

I felt better about bringing them to the Minnesota History Museum on Tuesday.

Here they are next to a teepee.

Ho ho ho...

This was after walking through the US-Dakota war exhibit.  Most of those say genocide, depressing, horrible, unfair, and sad.  We agreed.

And of course the 12 year old is mostly interested in weapons. He is just like that.  Future United States Marine right there.  Unless I can figure out a way to stop him.

They dug the tank.  There was also a movie that was shown inside of a plane that went through what it must have been like to be a paratrooper during war.  The plane shook, bullet holes came through the sides, and it was like we were flying.  It was pretty impressive.  You could feel maybe a teeny-tiny ounce (I mean no disrespect) of what it might have been like.  That was enough for me.  That takes some super brave souls.

So Wednesday we went to the Mall of America, against my best judgement.  I didn't take many pictures, I was just trying to survive.  I wasn't the only person who thought that it would be a good idea to go there.  I scrambled to get these coupons for $7.00 off each wristband for the kids and it STILL cost me $105.00 to get in.  Because of my badass math skills, I was so surprised at the cost that I almost passed out at the counter. There was no backing out at that point.  I couldn't be like,  "Sorry kids, I was totally kidding. We are going to IKEA and have lunch and look at light bulbs instead.  Cool?"

I will say, I was able to leave the boys riding rides, and walk around each level by myself.  I didn't buy anything, but it was nice to just watch the people, and be me for a minute.

I stopped by Caribou Coffee while strolling around the mall and found this.  I put this on Facebook, so sorry for the repeat.  But I am not sure that Xanax and Netflix are the BEST advice for relaxing.  Not for people like some of us... I was wishing I had added, "attend my 12-step group."

So on Thursday, we we went to the Walker Art Center.  Here are my twins and a buddy that we often have over.

The thing I forgot about my kids and art museums is this.  There is nudity at art museums.

I was standing there talking to my boys about how they couldn't touch anything at all while we were there.  Right directly behind me was a photo (or painting, I can't remember) of a woman's nude body from her knees, to her belly button.  She had her pubic hair down to her knees.  Like, she had extensions, on her pubes.  As I was talking, my kids were holding the laughter in, and it wasn't working.  It wasn't working at all.

Then there was the photo of the guy pooping on a teddy bear.  There was the claymation of the woman being mutilated.  Her breasts and fingers and legs being chopped off slowly.  It was creepy and cool, but my kids are not THOSE kind of kids.  Thank goodness, I think.

There was the painting of a woman holding her husbands testicles.  There were the breasts in the movies, the man who had a body suit with a tail that came around and went into his mouth.  Much of this stuff was very cool, and had I had time to look, read the little descriptions, without having to panic that they were going to break something, or worse, find something else for me to explain to them, I might have been able to enjoy it.  But I don't know enough about that type of art to even give it a shot.

The people that were working or volunteering at the Walker were not impressed with our reaction to what we saw there.  It is safe to say that art museums are for kids who can act appropriately when faced with nudity and also who can not touch every single thing that they see.  We are not prudes in this house.  Probably as far from prude as you can get.  It is seeing such things in a different way that we (I mean my boys) cannot seem to do.  Some of it was just too much.  That's all.  We stayed about 1/2 hour.  But I am glad we went.  It shocked the shit out of my kids.  That is always fun.

Tonight, the 12 year-old is at a Timberwolves game, and my daughter is at a Swarm game.  I stared at the twins for awhile, tried to let them believe that a walk was just as exciting as anything else, and caved in and brought them to Skyzone.  Dodgeball for two hours.  And yes, in case you noticed, they are wearing the same thing as they did yesterday.  If it looks clean, put it on.  Also, tonight everything gets washed, including them!!

And here I sit, in the quiet room at Skyzone, doing my homework.  If Facebook and blogging are homework.  Except for the guy who keeps talking about his panoramic camera, but uses the word "pornographic," to describe it,  this is the most relaxing part of this spring break.

I just realized that they don't have school on Monday either.  Well, the fun train has come to the station.  Good old fashioned video games, TV and fighting with each other will fill up the rest of our time off.  Have a good holiday weekend, if that is what you do!!


  1. Hmm, I just wrote a comment and my phone ate it. Anyway, I feel the same way about the zoo, and the circus, and the rodeo (I live in Houston)--I've heard they do some unpleasant things to the bulls to make them buck.

    I've just started reading your blog, and have gone back and read all the entries from the beginning. I really like your blog, and I'm impressed by how open and honest you are (and funny!)

    Alison (from Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Scottish Folk Music)

  2. Sorry to say that we love the Zoo! I can't see it that way at all! But that art museum sounds like it would have blown my mind. I don't want to explain all that crap to the grandkids yet! I think it sounds like you are a great mother

  3. Still sounds like you had fun all in all! Proud of you for experiencing such cool places in your area. I love Caribou Coffee.

  4. Your kids are insanely cute! Looks like a fun week for them, if exhausting for you. We actually love our zoo (Cincinnati), because they do a pretty good job of trying to provide animals with the most natural enclosures/exhibits possible. Too funny about the art museum- gotta love the nude works. Ha.

  5. Betsey! Extensions on her pubes.....I just about peed myself from laughing so hard! It sounds like a week full of activities and culture and togetherness. nice work girl! Your kids are lucky to have such an outgoing fun mom