Thursday, June 6, 2013

Science fair takeovers.

Yeah, I know I've been gone for over a week.  I have been doing the end-of-the-year bullshit that goes along with the end of the kids' school.  The last minute projects, homework, and all of it.  And the fun stuff like the talent show, awards ceremony (of which I skipped, and THIS is the year my kids got awards) and the like.

And the twins had a science fair this year.  We were told about this project two weeks before the assignment was due.  This would be fine, if I had only two kids.  But I have four.  One of them is home schooled.  But I'll get to that.

I am the kind of person who often waits until the last possible minute to do things.  I plan in my head, but it doesn't get farther than that until the last minute.  This year, these projects were no different.

And I have been known to not let my kids touch their projects.  Like, "get your fucking hands off of this before you wreck it.  I know what I'm doing."

Was the science fair project different?  Well...if the teacher is reading this, YES, they did all of it.  If the teacher isn't reading this, you decide:

Beautiful work right?  Okay, I let them pick what they wanted to do with some limited choices.  I let them help in a way that is like..."here is a glue stick, put this paper RIGHT THERE."

The twin with the green board had no idea what his project was about.  I explained it to him quite a few times, he struggled grasping it.  He is a bright child,  and although we did the experiment together (well he was home) and we made the graphs, (I'll explain it if you REALLY want me to) I am not sure he even understands what we did.  But maybe.  Just maybe.

The twin with the yellow board was lucky that we had a robin's nest last year and I took a ton of photos of it.  All we had to do was print and paste.  Life cycles are cool, right?

Am I proud of this?  Fuck yeah!

Okay, maybe not exactly proud. I KNOW it is bad parenting.  I KNOW it is.  But we were running out of time.  And it takes a HELL of a lot more time to guide (micromanage) your child through a project than to just sort of take over the whole thing.

Were there cooler science projects?  Totally.  Was I jealous?  Maybe.  I am super mature.  Why hadn't I googled that one about the salt water and electric charge?  Next year, man.

Next year, if we get this assignment, I will be ready.  I will do it ahead of time so that my kids can help....more.

I don't believe that bullshit either.

I will tell you about my daughter tomorrow.  I am SO GLAD this school year is over for my kids.  This might be the first time I have ever felt this way.  I am ready to have them home, chilling, and around. 

I am sure attitude of excitement  will change by Monday.  Anyway, there they go for the last time as 4th graders.  Cute little buggers.  

My 6th grader won't let me photo him and put him in this blog.  So it isn't that I don't love him JUST as much.  He is just not interested in being here much.  



    Read this now. (If you haven't already...)

    I almost wet my damn pants reading your entry just now. Sometimes it's just so fun to parent terribly. Just for a little while ;) and God knows it can be easier!!!!


    1. I totally love it. I relate to that exactly.

  2. This is hilarious!

    And so fucking real!

    Well done!

    Have you ever read I Don't Know How She Does It?

    1. No I haven't, but I will check it out. Is it a blog or something? I'll google that.

      You should have seen one project I did for my kid. The assignment was to make a creative toy that they could pull behind them using a string. He loved tanks, so we made an Army tank out of styrofoam. I thought it was brilliant. They had to do a toy parade around the school. Some people's toys had BLINKING FUCKING LIGHTS. And ours fell apart within the first 30 seconds because you can't really glue styrofoam. Oh man, do I hate that shit. Good times, good times.

  3. Great experiment, which popcorn produces the most for the $? pop popcorn, weight it, eat it! Cheap, and with your great presentation skills, a great one for one of the boys to do next year. Super easy, can do it in a day, and my son got a 2nd place, mainly because of creativity, which you have!