Monday, August 12, 2013

I don't want them to go back to school?

I know, I know. If you know me you know that I sing praises about that yellow bus that comes and takes those kids away for the day. It is a stay-at-home parent's best friend. Although I hate all the papers and projects that come with the school bus, I'm usually more than ready for it to start again. No more, "I'm bored" or "why can't WE go to Valley Fair or Water Park of America?"

And the finding socks, making sure they are washed, fed, and have clothes on in the morning with three different bus departure times the morning drags on forever. 

Then there is that last kid leaving saying "Bye mom, I love you." As he runs out the door. 

Peace and quiet and a little bit of my life back. 

This year will be different. I won't be here when they leave. Bob will. I'll be (two weeks from today) giving up my roll here and starting my internship. I've worked hard at school (and had a blast doing it) to get here. But I will be gone 45 hours a week (this includes two courses that I take during the internship) and from what I hear, I will be doing a lot of homework on my free time.

So I guess my not wanting them to go back to school has more to do with my not wanting to go away for that long. So, yeah, this is more about ME.  Surprise, surprise right?.  

Knowing things aren't going to be done my way (let's face it, probably not at all). And the big change that's about to happen. I guess that's fear. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to start my life as a drug and alcohol counselor. And I understand that women work and raise their kids.

When the twins were babies, I worked for my dad at his shop as the office person. I could show up after the older two got on the bus, dropped the twins at daycare, and go to work. I KNEW that going to work was easier than staying at home. My dad had to let me go because in the summer, daycare cost too much with all four and I was the highest paid employee, who worked the least amount of hours. 

Oh, and when the drugs started to get out of hand, I stole from him. 

Anyhoo, it felt like I was being sentenced to prison to stay at home with the kids. That is the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.  Any person (usually a man) who says it is easy, is an idiot.  And if your man is saying that to you, go on strike.

But now, they are older, I'm used to it, and I'm feeling a little sad that its ending. 

Because I'll be up and gone very early, there are a few things Bob will need to understand. Cereal is NOT breakfast, waffles or cinnamon/sugar toast are. One twin is very picky about his socks, so you better have the right ones. My daughter can be hard to get moving. My 12 year old likes to shower and lay back down. He eats bacon. And on and on.

This is an exciting and scary change. I'm will be needing to practice some serious acceptance.  And for the last two weeks of my freedom, I will enjoy every second.

And by the way, my daughter will be returning to her old school this year for another try.  She decided that it was a little too boring to be at home that much.  We will se what happens!

4 comments:

  1. Wow! Time flew by Betsey. I cant believe its already time for you to start your internship. This will be a great year for you!

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  2. Please keep us posted on how your daughter does back in school! I wish her the very best of luck and hope those bitches have grown up a bit and gotten nicer.

    And good luck to you! Your internship is going to be amazing. I'm a working mom, but I stated home for 3 years and can easily say that staying home is the hardest job. And I'm a kindergarten teacher, so when I go to work I'm still dealing with kids!

    I just love your blog. I'm new around here, but I'm a huge fan! Your writing is great and you give me a lot to think about. I'm not an addict, but addiction has touched my life in devastating ways.

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    1. Thank you for your support. Boy, you've been busy reading!! I totally appreciate it. I will keep you posted. She is a remarkable girl. I only worry about her dyslexia more than her peers. I hope they can give her what she needs.

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