Thursday, August 22, 2013

Year number THREE!

Okay, ring the bells, call the president, close the schools, and let's just call this a national holiday.  I've got three years of sobriety today mother fuckers!! (Sorry about the mother fucker part)  HA.  Me and many others  But who cares!  Let's all freak out about it together!  It's a lot of work and it is the MOST important thing in my life. 

Last year, my sobriety birthday was weird because we were on a retreat, and at the last minute, it was decided (not by Hazelden) that I shouldn't get my medallion there unless EVERYONE was allowed to do the same thing. So it was sort of handed to me in a small group.  Which is fine, but I was really looking forward to getting my medallion at the campfire meeting, with all the campers, like I was given the year before and where I exactly two years prior, heard what I needed to hear to give me the strength to stay sober.  Talk about being forced to be humble, not cry or throw a tantrum when I didn't get the experience I expected.  

But after a whole year, I'm finally over that (see how fast I learn?) and I made it another year sober. That place is beautiful.  And if you ever get the chance to go to the Northwoods retreat put on by Hazelden, you should check it out.  It is a lot of fun, and very reasonably priced.  It is starting today through Sunday.  I bet they still have room if you call!

This year I was going to bring my kids up to my camper and spend it with them, but they have other commitments.  So instead, I am going to bring my four go-to gals, who make such a difference in my life to the camper for a little girls weekend.  And I will get my medallion next week, at a meeting, surrounded by people who celebrate the hard work it takes to get here.  And that we all do it together.

I never thought I could make it three years.  My first try at long-term sobriety, I decided to go one year.  I sort of made that, if you don't count the pills (ha ha).  The plan this time was to make it two.  And here I am at three.

My life today compared to three years ago is like a different woman lives in this house, in this body, and in this mind..  But THIS is the real me.  This is the me that I want to be.  This is the me that I love.  This is the me that I am proud of.  I never, ever in my entire life thought I could say that.  I have many to thank.  Anyone who has gone before me.  Anyone who has relapsed and is still struggling.  Anyone who gets back up to show that no matter how far you fall, or how many times, there is always hope.  I have been shown that over and over again. Any new person that reaches out to me for help, or walks through the door of a meeting with that look of terror on their face, thank you.   I have been loved until I could love myself.  And the future looks fucking bright.

My meetings, this blog, my school, and now starting my internship on Monday as a drug and alcohol counselor are what keep me going.    None of this would be possible without sobriety.  Recovery is possible and I'm proof.  Not only is it possible, it is fucking beautiful.

This has been a tough year in many areas of my life. My daughter's struggle last fall, my marriage continues to struggle, and all of that. It's also been a year of amazing gifts. My dad helped fix up my house, I finished up my classes so I can be an intern, I've grown so much, my relationships have improved with my family, I've had opportunities to write, speak, and help share the story that we do recover. It's so exciting. 

Thank you all.  Especially those of you who love me no matter what.  Especially my sponsor and dear friends.  Oh, my family too.  We are all in this together.  They have done such a good job recovering too.  I was given the exact right kids, for me.  I love them so.

Hey Beth, NOW when I have 7 years when you have 11.  That will be RAD! 


  1. Congratulations and Mazel Tov!! (As my people say!)

    Congratulations sweet girl!! SOOOOO proud of you.

  3. I dont remember how i found your blog, im not a drug user but i enjoy reading your blogs, i suffer from depression, its different from drug abuse but still a diaese(sp) congtats on the 3yr mark

  4. Congratulations! That is awesome :)

  5. Congratulations and happy birthday! Mine was in July but we were out of town for the celebration at the group, so no chip for me (of course, I can always get one myself). That is quite a milestone!! Keep coming back. :)

  6. Congratulations Betsey....sobriety looks great on you!

  7. Congratulations.