Wednesday, October 30, 2013


This information may not be important you most of you.  But some of you are going to thank me.

If you chew gum, I am asking you to take a hard, honest look at yourself.  Do you chew with your mouth open?  Do you blow bubbles?  Do you snap it with your front or back teeth?  Do you make tiny bubbles and bite down on them?  Do you chew really fast and loud?  Do you?

Knock that shit off.

I understand that practicing acceptance is an important part of what I am supposed to do every day.  But for the love of every living being on this planet, I feel like I could freak out on the loud gum people.

Not only freak out, but for instance, there is a woman in the library, right at this second, sitting at the next table next to me.  We are facing each other.  I have a book.

This book is all about meeting people where they are at, being empathetic to whatever they need or say, asking the right questions to get them to move towards change in a theraputic setting.   I feel like chucking it at her head.  I am sure she is a nice person.  But I CANNOT STAND her gum snapping.  I want to scream "spit it out NOW before something terrible happens to you!"

I am wearing my headphones, but no music.  And I can still hear it.  Move you say?  The library is crowded today.

So I ask you, good citizens of the world, to take a look at how you chew gum. Ask for other people's opinion, if you are uncertain of how you sound.   And if you cannot do it quietly, then save that shit for when you are at home. ALONE.  Or I might throw a book at your head.



  1. ask her politely if she could please try and chew quieter. you can't consentrate. lol never hurts to ask.

  2. She totally got up an spit it out! My vibe must have gotten to her. Thank goodness. Pet peeve man!

  3. My father (who was an ass) never allowed us to chew gum for this very reason. He told us it made us look stupid. I resented this but now I see his wisdom. Despite the fact he was an ass.

  4. When I was in 4th grade if we got caught chewing gum we had to recite this poem:

    I gum chewing person
    And a cude chewing cow.
    They both look alike,
    But they're different somehow.
    Oh yes, I remember now,
    It's the intelligent look
    On the face of a cow.

    I must have had to receit it often because I still remember it.

  5. AMEN girlie! I frickin hit the roof when people snap their gum. I was at walgreens last week and a lady was popping her gum so i stopped and turned around and went down a few aisles further so i could avoid her. A coworker does it and i've told him to stop but he said my wife cant get me to stop i'm sure you cant. UGH!

  6. Drives me crazy! but so does the sound of someone eating or slurping drinks... I hate that sound. My department lunch is always socially awkward and silent so all you can hear is the loud-ass chewing of every person. To avoid it, I always vote for loud, noisy restaurants, then I don't have to hear them!

  7. Oh That's funny :P loud gum chewing is annoying lol but what drives me even more insane (I have this thing about personal space I guess) is when people keep bumping into me when Im standing in line. I always leave enough space in front of me to have my own personal bubble but the people behind me come up real close, (like that will get them to where their going faster) and will breath in my ear almost. Its like fck dude standing on top of me wont get you to the end of the line any faster. LOL drives me absolutely crazy. Specially when I keep moving forward to get away from them and everytime I move an inch they get even closer. GRRRR lol Well thats might rant. Great Blog BTW :)