Saturday, December 14, 2013

Wouldn't it be nice...

Wouldn't it be nice to know the answers of why somethings happen the way they do and why they don't.

Why do some people recover, and others never get ready?

Why is it we stay in touch with certain people, and let others go, even when there isn't a clear reason?

Why do we have to work so hard to let go of stuff that is bad for us?

Why are so many fun things, bad for us?

Why was there endless baked goods at my internship and it made my clothes tighter? (Shut-up, I know the answer.)

Why do I constantly compare my life, including my joys and pains, to other people's?

Why do we have to work so hard to keep things that are good for us?

Why don't we always see people the way they should be seen?

Why don't people always see us the way we really are?

Why is it so hard to let go of the past, even when we know it is only now that counts?

Why is it so hard to decide what to wear each day?

Why is being a parent so hard?

Why didn't anyone tell me that you worry about them MORE as they grow up, not less?

Why does the urge to protect them out-weigh the urge to let them make their own mistakes and learn? (I know the answer, but this one really gets me, obviously.)

Why can't we fix people?

Why can't we be in love forever?

Why is it so hard to accept our choices and let the "what if's" go to hell?

Why do we feel uncomfortable around people in pain, which in turn makes people uncomfortable to show pain?

Why are some days so perfect, but still feel icky?

Why do icky days sometimes feel perfect?

Why don't people REALLY talk about what happens to a woman's body in their 40's?  WTF!

Why am I forever tired? (actually,
I just learned I'm slightly anemic, so...)

I know the answers to most if this.  I know that most of my answers come with letting go, accepting where I am, and being grateful, grateful, grateful.  

The end of the year gets me moody.  It is sad and happy at once.  I look back and forward at once.  My feelings get a little intense this time of year.  I, of course, kind of like that.  It is good to feel shit.  Even if some of it is the same old shit. I'm at a good place.


  1. Wow my whole comment just got erased GRRR. Well her we go again lol. I'm slightly anemic too. I found out when I went to donate blood and then 9 months later when I went again I was still anemic so I couldn't donate blood again. Now I know its something that wont go away until I do something about it like cutting back on caffeine (as if), eat more veggies and take some iron pills. But this is so low on my list of shit I have to do that well I haven't gotten to it yet, although I should because I'm always tired. That makes me wonder that if being anemic might of been a cause of our addiction (being tired led to taking pills) or if it was caused by our addiction. Anyways something to ponder.

    I also know what you mean by feeling good and bad this time of year. I'm excited and happy but anxious and sad. Its a weird feeling, another year gone by already. I started my blog at Christmas last year so my blogs 1 year anniversary is coming up and what I posted on Christmas last year is totally different but yet the same as how I feel now. This was one of my first post: When Christmas Didnt Matter.

    Well Happy Holidays B and Im really glad you found me and messaged me on twitter. I love reading your blog :) Take Care and Get some Iron in you :P

  2. Blogger sucks like that. I want to switch to Wordpress, but I'm too scared! And lazy to figure it out. Or maybe too busy!

    Good question about the anemia. Mine (I think) is due to my uterus being old!! Haha. I might be ditching it soon if I can get and have it done sooner than later if they can get me in in time for enough recovery before my next internship starts.

    Congrats on your anniversary for hour blog. I love yours too:). I am glad we connected as well! Isn't the internet the greatest? C u around:)

    1. I tried doing wordpress, a couple weeks ago for my new blog but got frustrated. Its hard to figure and it doesn't seem like you have as much options if your not willing to pay.

  3. why do I read this blog?

    1. And also (congrats fucker, you got me) if you had guts, you wouldn't leave that comment under "anonymous." Coward.