Friday, December 27, 2013

Facebook friends

I bet there is a shit-lotta blog posts talking about Facebook.  I'm sitting here thinking about it, so read my ramble.

Facebook, to me, is a seriously awesome thing.  I love people.  I love to stay in touch.  I love to be nosey.  I check Facebook more than I'll ever admit. I am sure, those who are Facebook friends with me would not find this a shock. I like Twitter, but I always have the urge to be super inappropriate and dirty on there, to keep up with the comedians. And I'm not a comedian (only in my head).  I could probably get pretty far with that. But I won't quit my day job…when I get one.  

I feel like I have to keep it somewhat classy. Because I'm at the beginning of a new career, I could be looked up by clients, coworkers, or bosses.  I have to wear the hat of the professional (kinda) instead of the dirty-minded funny girl that I am at the core. 

After I have a job for awhile, maybe I'll let it rip. 

But back to Facebook friends.  I always want to be Facebook friends with people.  I love the fact that I can see what they are up to.  Some people it is quickly apparent that it was a mistake.  Thank goodness for the "hide user" button, for those people who challenge my ability to practice acceptance.  I'm sure I'm hidden by more than 1/2 my "friends."

The unfriending deal is touchy.  I have unfriended and have been unfriended.  It could be an old boyfriend that either pisses off my significant other. It could be that the old boyfriend unfriended and blocks me for that same reason, even though I haven't had a boyfriend for over 22 years. I can name two men who did this to me, but I won't.  It is a bummer, but I get it.  

I've unfriended people that bring me a negative energy and I don't want see it anymore.  It is something I just can't fly with anymore. I've done it out of anger.  I've done it after thinking about it long and hard.

I make a lot of stupid, sarcastic posts.  Sometimes people take me too literally.  Those little "digs" or "shots" they take for every post I make.  Folks want to give advice, solve my problems, when I am mostly kidding.  I can tolerate that mostly.  I know I do it to people as well.  It is easy to do this behind a computer.      

I have unfriended family members. I am not friends with any of Bob's family. This is because our relationship is always so on again, off again, it's exhausting friending and unfriending them.  Yeah...I'm super mature. Plus, I was always finding myself tagged in the ugliest photos of myself.  HILARIOUS. Maybe they just think I'm beautiful in every photo. I am sure that is it.  

I have been surprised on how my Facebook friendships got me through a ton of stuff. I've had long conversations and relationships with people that have helped me feel better during shitty times.  I have had people help me with my stuff. I've had folks reach out to get help from me. 

All in all,  I would say that I use Facebook in healthy AND unhealthy ways. I have tried to give it up.  I think I lasted a total of two days.  And I cheated by logging on in the middle of the night so no one could see.  Is that healthy?  No.  But I need people.

The BEST thing that has come of this whole Facebook world is that I get to share my recovery, and hear how other people are recovering. And the bullshit that comes with Facebook, drives a chaos loving girl, like me, to make this more important than it should be. I think we are lucky to have it.  I know I feel lucky it is there.  It is changing the way people have relationships.  But it also creates relationships that wouldn't be there otherwise.  I would be pretty lonely without it.  Is that wrong?  I say no.  

And to those of you who unfriended me and blocked me?  I miss you and your posts.  


  1. I, too, love being friends with people on Facebook! It is a safe way to keep in touch with people even if you don't necessarily want to hang out with them. I barely ever unfriend anyone... if their posts bother me, I just skip over them. But I did unfriend AND block two people who used to be like family to me... after ten years it became all too apparent that the friendship was toxic. When I stopped always jumping up to help them out with everything and working so hard to please them, they started writing mean things on my Facebook, both to me and about me... so I blocked them. It is kind of like saying, "You're dead to me!" But in order to be unfriended by me you have to do something that REALLY hurts me. Which those two definitely did.

    1. Yeah, it can get tricky! I have to stop and step back first. That's what I've learned. But I've been blocked by people I really like! I can only assume that I wasn't working out in their world. Facebook is a crazy, wonderful place where relationships are more common, and ending them is also more common because of it.

  2. I've unfriended more family members than anyone else! Sometimes the crazies are hard to block because you'd then miss thinking about how crazy they are. I block small minded people.

    1. Me too. And sometimes those are relatives. And sometimes they are just too up in my grill. Anyway, I'm glad I'm not blocked by you. And I'm glad that I can't tell who hides me either. Thanks Facebook.