"Close your eyes, mom."
"Totally planning on that, dude."
After he's in there he says, "I almost burned the house down yesterday."
"WHAT?" I of course freaked
He says, "Yeah, it was close."
"Do you have burns on you?" I asked because he would hide something like that.
"No, I was wearing a bullet-proof vest, so I'm okay."
Yes, he owns one. Don't ask.
"Well tell me what the hell you were doing?" I asked him, thinking of pouring ice water over the shower.
"I was spraying Axe on me (chick repellent) and lighting it on fire."
"Well let's wait to do that again when you are a homeowner and you are positive you paid your insurance bill, okay?"
"Yep, it was pretty scary."
I blame Johnny Knoxville.
So what do you talk about before you start your day?