Sunday, February 16, 2014

What anonymity might have brought to this blog

I could have just been known as Mom off Meth, never revealing my first and last name. And by doing that, I would have saved some grief for my kids and also myself. Also, I might have been able to be MORE honest, because I could say what I wanted, about who I wanted, and no one would have to know who I was talking about or what I was talking about. I can only be as honest as I can be, without hurting people. 

I think about that a lot. There might be a topic, or a person that I want to talk about. Maybe even bash (sometimes I still do.)  There are things that go on in my internship, I could (shouldn't) talk about.  

If my blog didn't have my real identity attached to it, there would be a whole other level of honesty. I could talk more about that parent hell, I could talk about my parent. I could talk about my kids in a different way (tell embarrassing stories or complain more about them) and I could tell how I honestly feel about their school, their friends, everything. I could talk about Bob, my in-laws, my own sister if I wanted to. And it might feel really good. Or, it might keep me in a place where I dwell on what bothers me, instead of trying to move forward. 

I know I talk about all of these things. I'm just saying I could talk about them even MORE! 

Not to mention, my whole deal for writing here is to show my face and connect with other people in recovery, need recovery, or just to be a place where people can see what it means for me to be in recovery. Also parenting, marriage, mental illness, and whatever else my fingers write about.

If I hid my name, I wouldn't be doing what it is I'm really trying to do. The main purpose for me is to not be ashamed, or hide behind this addiction disease. It is to put light on the whole life of it as myself. And if that means I need to be mindful of who and what I talk about, it's probably better. This is the most honest I can be. I think the initial sting or hurt of who I am to people has worn off, and we can all just be friends.

I do allow people to leave messages as "anonymous."  Which creates a TON of spam and people trying to sell Viagra in the comments section. You can't see that. But it is a little annoying.  

And although being out there stunts my writing at times, I can't turn back now!


  1. I am in Brookly Park Minnesota this week on business. I wished we could meet somehow for a true face to face cup of coffee.