Wednesday, April 30, 2014

It's the end of the world as we know it

And I feel okay.

I am getting divorced, right?  We are all clear on that?  You have been listening to me go back and forth on this issue for the almost two years I've been writing this blog, and those who know me personally, it has been going on since I got sober. Are you sick of it yet?  My indecision?  Well, it isn't a decision that should be taken lightly.  This is serious shit.

I will blog about it. With respect and honesty. And without hurting the kids anymore than this already does. They don't read this blog. But they could if they wanted to. I might get a little mouthy at times, if I'm angry.  But I plan on sharing it here, so I can get support, advice, and hopefully, sanity. 

I've signed the initial papers, and today they were served to him. I was here.  A little awkward, but we went over it together, and I think he is cool with everything that is on there.  I don't want to do anything unfair, cruel, or mean to spite him.  I want us both to be able to afford living, have the kids (mostly with me, but with him the every-other weekend and every Thursday thing) and remain as kind to each other as we can.  So far, so good.  There will be more to come. 

Also, I PASSED MY LICENSURE TEST, finished my last class last night, and will be walking in the graduation ceremony next week!!  Finding the job so I can support myself and keep my house is priority one.  He is already approved for a town-home, where there is a pool, work-out room and other fun things for the kids.  They are really nice.  

I've been thinking about this for years.  And always, the reality of it hurt more than I could breathe.  I couldn't actually go through with it because of the pain.  But now, it doesn't hurt.  I waited until I was ready. Then I waited until I finished school.  I was mostly afraid of being broke and alone.  Which is funny because I have been broke and alone many times throughout this marriage. 

This time, I'll be on my own, making my own money, paying my own bills, and making my own decisions.  Not like I wasn't doing that before, minus the "my own money" part.  And he didn't really ever let me forget that he "pays for everything."  It will be awesome.

I am surprised at how well this divorce is beginning.  I am hopeful it will stay on this track and we can do it with respect and peace.  As peaceful as this goes anyhow.  

People say, "I'm sorry" when you say you are getting a divorce.  My response is, don't be.  This was a good marriage at times, a really shitty one at times, and now, it has run its course. This is the best for both of us.  


8 comments:

  1. First of all, congratulations! You did it!! What an awesome accomplishment. Good job. I wish you the very best in this new career and how wonderful that you will be helping people as someone who really "gets it".

    Regarding the divorce, I hope it continues to go smoothly. It will take a while for everyone to adjust and there will probably be some bumps in the road along the way. Based on the details you've shared, I think you're ready and this will be for the best. I hope Bob can get the medical care he needs and can get better.

    I'm celebrating for you!!

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    1. Thank you. I appreciate it. Woohoo!!

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  2. Congratulations. On all of it. Can't wait to hear what's next for you!

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  3. Let me also offer you a well deserved congratulations. When you walk across that graduation stage just remember how far you've come. Ain't nothing can stop you now.
    Fondly

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    1. Thanks Barbara. Appreciated. I'm excited.

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  4. I am living proof that you can have a good divorce. My ex and I co-parent really well. I waited until I was ready (after years of indecision) and felt no remorse when I asked him to leave. He and I get along pretty well now and the kids are thriving. Congratulations on taking the next step toward a healthier and happier you!

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    1. I think we are going to have a good divorce. I believe we have decided on mediation because we agree on everything. I think this is a great move for our family.

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