Why? Because I love my job. I absolutely love it. But we drug and alcohol counselors don't make a lot of money. I am sick of being broke in my life. As I was figuring out how I was going to work full time, with child support, and I would have less money than he gets from his disability, I decided to make a change.
Because I am still married to Bob, and he is 100% permanently and totally disabled from the Marine Corps, I get money to go to school. EVEN grad school. So...I called off my divorce, and applied as soon as I could fill out the forms to start this fall.
Yeah...I know. There might be something really sick about it. Sick and wrong. Or brilliant.
I can finish in three years. So I have decided to put myself into a better financial position before I'm on my own. Let's face it, I'm lucky to have this opportunity. And he is willing to go along with it.
As for our relationship, it's friendly. I'm not angry, he's not angry. In fact, since I started my job, he has stayed out of bed and been with the kids, or running errands, or small projects. MORE than dishes and laundry!
And guess what? He feels better. He doesn't rock back and forth as much. He is more his old self. He is sleeping better. I've noticed a big change, and so have the kids. I am so happy for him.
I had to CHEW my tongue until it bled as not to say, "I told you so!"
Okay, I totally fucking said that to him. You know I did.
Please don't say things like, "I'm glad you are working it out together!" Because that is not what this is about. It isn't a romantic up and down love affair. He gets a benefit for his service that extends to me, and I'm going to take it. The kids will be older when we do finally divorce, and I'll be in a better position, which will put him in a better position. As long as we can be friendly, which has a lot to do with my tolerance, it will be fine. After 22 years, what's 3 more?
And as for those of you who might be disgusted or even devastated by this news, oh well. It is, what it is. I'm excited. I was going to wait until 2015 to go back to school, but I'll be FORTY-FOUR this year. My clock is ticking. I'm going for it.